33 Small Steps to Find Your Unique Path
My life has been an adventure, that's for sure!
I've opened a business with my partner when we were just 25 - only a couple of months after we became parents for the first time, and in an industry that we had no experience in!
I've followed my heart to move across the entire world, ending up in country where not a soul knows me from before I was 21.
I've had three babies in four years, and even had the last one at home!
Heck, my husband and I even went to Kyrgyzstan on our honeymoon! (It was beautiful and everyone was so, so friendly!)
And yet...
None of that felt as hard as when I wasn't following my own path.
There were challenges, sure!! But the path overall, it always felt easy. As soon as the right choice was made (spoiler alert: whichever choice you made is the right one! Simply by making a choice you magically turn that one choice into the BEST possible choice! The alternative is sitting on the fence forever, which is probably the most painful place to be.)
When you follow your own unique path, your life gets to feel easy. Of course, there are going to be challenges on any path you follow. Choosing your own path doesn't mean there won't be any obstacles in your way, but it does mean that you've removed a significant amount of them! Give yourself this gift - remove as many obstacles as you can, right from the beginning. Start going down the path that was meant for you, and only for you, and let it feel good!
When you try to follow someone else's path, that's when it gets hard. Unnecessarily hard.
For me, not following my own path leaves me feeling like I'm suffocating. Like I am actually dying in the slowest possible way. Like a houseplant that is getting a little water and sunlight sure - but not enough to flourish. I can function! I can even have a good life! But it takes an unbelievable amount of work and it feels so hard and if I keep going on in this way I may not ever actually make it...
So here are 33 small steps that you can take to help you as you start following your own path, you gorgeous creature! You don't have to follow all of them - but pick one or two to focus on, and watch as you slowly realign to the path meant for you!
- Make the voice in your head the nicest, kindest voice possible. There's enough negativity out there! Make the voice in your head your BIGGEST, most positive cheerleader ever!
- Know that no ones' approval matters more than your own. Not one person. Don't seek approval from others - seek it from yourself!
- B o u n d a r i e s . Oo this is such a powerful word! Get comfortable with your own personal boundaries! You'll show up in your life so much more comfortably this way! Boundaries make sure that we have a safe space to play in. So go ahead, build yourself a safe space, and know that the best way to make sure your boundaries are respected by others is to make sure that you share them! No one can respect your boundaries if they don't know what or where they are.
- Surround yourself with awesome people. They say that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with! So have a look around. Is this the kind of person you want to be?
- Do what feels good.
- Make sure you have time to rest.
- Learn something new!!
- Your phone is not your friend. It is a tool. Let me say that again - yes you reach your friends with your phone, but put it down. Often. It is not a friend, it is a machine designed to make you feel good. But when we rely on only one channel to feel good - we can forget about all of the beautiful things around us that can do the same thing!
- You get to choose how you feel. That's right! You have the choice! I'm not suggesting we can always control our emotions, but we can intentionally by conciously choosing how we want our life to feel. Or today to feel. It helps, trust me.
- Have fun!
- Trust your instincts.
- Use your imagination! This message seems to be coming at me from so many directions! Get creative! Sing. Dance. Draw. Doodle. Make art on your plate out of your fruit. Creativity is the key to so much freedom inside us, and as adults we rarely use it enough.
- Take one feel good step. Looking at a goal and seeing how far away it is can feel so daunting. How am I ever supposed to get THERE??!! The same way you eat an elephant - one bite at a time.
- Leave room for things that don’t make sense. I don't know how much of my life I have wasted trying to be a reasonable and logical human being. I'm a little bored with it, honestly. Some of the best decisions - actually, ALL of the best decisions I have made in my life made absolutely no sense at the time. I did them anyway. And they lead to the most gorgeous places. So, do you want to be boring? Or do you want to live the life of your dreams?
- Talk to someone who knows more about the subject than you do. Most of us have fought for all of the knowledge we've used to get us here the hard way - through years of figuring it out! Do someone a favour and give them the chance to talk about all of their lessons! Most people will be delighted that someone is interested!
- Understand your feelings. Know that they are guides.
- Now release them. Don't hold onto them, and don't stew in them. Feelings come to guide us, and then they need to be released. Trying to understand why you feel angry right now won't actually help you resolve your anger. (I know - that's not what we're used to! But when we release the feeling, the answer comes to us so much quicker! Give it a try!!)
- Get comfortable with your worst case scenario. If you can get comfortable with you "worst case scenario," then why not give it a shot??!
- Let go of perfection. It is an endless goal that you will never reach.
- Stock your life with cheerleaders. You get to choose. Fill your team with people who will support you. No matter what! Not everyone who you love in your life will get to be on your team. You can still love them, and there is still a space in your life for them! Just not that close to your path.
- Know that you are free to leave. If something shifts or something stops working, change directions. Don't hold onto something that just doesn't feel right anymore. (Of course, you may have to do a lot of inner work to make sure this feeling isn't just fear!)
- What you know right now is perfect. Stop holding yourself back. Similar to perfection, trying to know enough will be an endless goal if you set it! Start where you are.
- Talk to yourself. Write it down. You have everything you need inside yourself already.
- Be grateful for where you're at.
- No one is more of an expert at your life than you are. No one has walked every step along with you. Even if some come close. That means that no one else will ever be able to feel your path like you do! Trust yourself first.
- "Whatever makes you weird is probably your greatest asset." Joss Whedon
- Competition is dead. We killed it with participation trophies. But that's a good thing!! It is time to embrace the idea that when one of us wins, we all win!
- Find your community. Can’t find one? Build one. Collect humans one by one until you look up one day and you are surrounded by people who think like you and move like you and who want to support you. I guarantee there are other people out there like you (do you know how many people there are in the world??!! A whole flipping lot!! You'll find your people.)
- The market is not saturated. That does’t exist. Refer again to: do you know how many people there are in the world?? A whole flipping lot! I guarantee that not all of them have even heard of this thing you do!
- Really good music helps.
- So does being out in nature.
- Drink enough water. Nourish your body so it can function well .
- You are worthy of everything good in your life. Inherently. Without question. There is nothing you can do to mess this up. It's time to stop tying our self worth up with things like money and success and failure. You are worthy of everything good in this world. Don't you forget it.
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