Three Kids at Bedtime

I have three kids.

Right now they are 6, 4, and 2.

(Meggie in the middle would correct me to say that she is 4 1/2, of course. Which would then prompt the baby to say "I four half, too!!")

My favourite time of year is coming up. From Meg's birthday in April, all the way to Trip's birthday in September, when Meg's age goes up before Trip's does and they will be 6, 5, and 2. And then my favourite, favourite month of the year comes up - in August when Charlie's age goes up, too. So that for one month of the year our life sounds exactly as crazy as it actually is. Six, Five, Three. Who has kids that close together?!?! Who is just that crazy???!!!

Obviously we all know the answer to this question. I have never pretended to be normal, and have only recently realised that I am the craziest person I know. I mean, I know I'm crazy, this is not news by any means. But I did have an aha moment just the other day when I had to tell Toff that there isn't anyone in our circle of friends who is crazier than I am. Which might actually mean that I am crazier than think I am!! This wasn't upsetting news for me, only an interesting epiphany.

I have been called out, on numerous occasions, of acting crazy in public. Quite frequently by new friends, and also quite frequently when I hadn't even been aware that I had been acting crazy at the time!!

But, back to the kids!!

The kids!!

Putting all three of them to bed the other night - smelling their sweet, soft hair (Charlie smelled like birthday cake) and gently kissing the soft slope of their cheeks - I tried to recall what bedtime used to look like.

And I couldn't do it. I have no idea how we used to get three kids to bed a year ago (when they were 5, 4, & 2). Or the year before that. I have no idea how I got Trip to bed when he wasn't even 2 yet and Meg was a newborn. No idea. I think probably it wasn't a feat I tried by myself too often. (Thank you, sweet husband, for juggling your crazy business-running life so you can be home for bedtime!!!!!!!) So I imagine that when we had newborns Toff would put the big kid or kids to bed while I put the baby to bed. But I have no physical memories of lying in bed with them or reading books or bringing one last sip of water to their bedside. I think I blocked it out!

Typically, my mind only blocks out memories of stressful times or negative memories, which works in my favour. Toff's memory system was built the same way, so that the two of us simply have no memories of past arguments (not that there are many.....although maybe there are and we've blocked them out?!! Ha!) or stressful times in our life. And I'm so glad we found each other, because I imagine that this ability may be stressful for a partner if one of you could remember the negative aspects of your relationship but the other couldn't.

Once again... back to the kids!!

The kids!!

Bedtime, at the moment, is a fairly smooth affair. Of course, it still requires three adults on most nights. So maybe it is only smooth based on sheer numbers! After dinner the kids get a bath, which usually involves Trip pestering his sisters - both of which have figured out how to scream like their life is depending on it in order to achieve the quickest possible interference from an adult, who usually arrives only to find out that he is simply repeating a song about poo he made up that they don't want to hear right now. (Gosh, no wonder I block this shit out! It's annoying me just writing about it!!) Kids! ...Specifically, siblings!! Anyhow, after that they all get their pjs on, teeth brushed, then hop into one of the beds to read a book with Dad. Then each of them gets their turn to be lied with by Mom and Dad, both. Lucky little kiddywinks.

You see, I'm writing this down just so I can remember it. But probably, I don't need to remember how easily they will fight with each other, or spit water at one of their siblings just to annoy them. Or how much water ends up on the floor. Or how many times I have to say, "don't hit your sister," "don't jump on your brother," "don't lick that," "don't throw that or chew on that or say that."

Hey, actually, I just had another epiphany! Maybe there is a reason I block some memories out! We shouldn't remember the annoying or bad things we go through with people we love. That's no fun. Remember their sweet face when they are sleeping. Remember how he bends down to peer into his sisters face after going to visit the face-painter, and says "Meggie! You're beautiful!" Remember that. Remember when they are sweet and gentle and caring. Remember when they hold a friends hand while walking away from school, or fall in love with a new friend and can't wait to go visit them, or offer to share their favourite snack with a little buddy. We don't need to remember when they were difficult or challenging - we grow from those moments, and we become better equipped to handle them in the future - but our memory space is so much better used in all of the sweet memories!

Oh wow, I'm so glad I figured this out!

So goodnight, sweet friends! May you have so, so many sweet memories to fill your head up with that there is simply no room for the bad ones!