Home

First, here is a video for you. Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.  And because I am sure you have heard this song 20 million times and a half, here is a fun live version.

So I was casually sitting with my cup of tea this morning, holding a sleeping infant on my lap, naked because it is 37 degrees today (the infant...not me), reading my favorite blog (Girls Gone Child, which I read every morning, and have read every morning for the past 11 months because we were pregnant together and how fun is that?) when suddenly I found myself tearing up and then getting goosebumps.  All because of the video in this post here.  

And then, not wanting to lose my full-of-love, goosebumpy-with-happiness feeling, I kept watching other videos she posted.  Which is when I found a Home video that is one of her favorites.  And I started getting teary eyed all over again.

Because that was my and Toff's wedding song last July, and because now I am holding his son on my lap, typing one-handed with the computer resting on the couch beside me.  

So can I just take a minute to tell you about Toff?  

About how I used to worry about dating someone who loved traveling so much, because I could never see myself going anywhere without a Holiday Inn (preferably with an employee discount) or living somewhere so very far from the family I adore.  And then, he got me to do this:

In the tree tops of Northern Thailand

And go here:

On our 3-day horseback journey in Kyrgyzstan

And meet him:

A Monk name Joy in Laos

And live here:

Port Willunga Beach

And about how, when he was working night shift at the winery last summer, I would sneak into the room at 4:58pm, two minutes before his alarm was set to go off.  And I would carefully, quietly, lie down beside him, and wait for the alarm...

And every time, without fail, he would start smiling before his eyes were all the way open.  Simply because I was there, when he wasn't expecting me.  That, I think, is what I wish for you to find - a man who loves you so much he can smile because you are there, long before his body is fully awake and able to process a reaction like that on purpose.  

About how we have a baby now, who he says just fits into our life naturally.  "It just feels like he is supposed to be here," he says, putting Trip down to sleep, "like it is meant to be the three of us."

About how, long before we were pregnant or even thought we would be pregnant any time before the next five years, he told me he thought of a name for our son.  I don't remember exactly when, or even what country we were in.  I remember being slightly intoxicated, and we were walking somewhere on a warm night.  And out of the blue he said he thought James would be a good name for a boy.  "James Francis, and we can call him Trip."  And I teared up and thought, "perfect."  But we wanted to wait until we met our baby before deciding on a name, so we came up with a few more, and a few options for girls too, of course.  But on September 14th, we both looked at him, and looked at each other, and thought "James, he looks like a James."  And he does.

Hi there, James

And about how I don't think there was ever a song in the entire world that fit a couple more than Home fits us.  Alabama, Arkansas...moats and boats and waterfalls...home is wherever I'm with you...laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night.....ooooh Home.  Let me go home.

Love you, Toff