My Home Birth

When I shared my birth story for Meg, aka Baby #2, I titled the post "How I Gave Birth in 2.5 hours." 

That is the entire time it took from my very first contraction to when I was actually holding a baby. In those two hours we managed to cram in a shower for Toff (we had no idea, at the time, that those two minutes could have been way more useful in getting me to the hospital!), a 40 minute car ride, a walk waddle across the entire hospital to the Maternity Ward while I stopped and hum/sang/moaned through each contraction, a very brief conversation with our midwife, Bet, as we met in the hallway, and then a few big pushes. The room was still half dark and the tap was still running to fill the birth tub - even up to the last second I still had no idea how fast this labour was going to be over and done with. The first sound Meg heard in her whole life was my laughter, because I just couldn't believe I was already holding a baby!

Anyways, that is all to tell you, just so you wouldn't be surprised - for our third baby we planned a home birth. No, we're not hard-core hippies. Yes, I think people who give birth with dolphins are crazy. I have nothing against hospitals, and had a good experience with the birthing centre at the hospital for both of our prior births. But I just didn't feel like giving birth in a car on the way to the hospital. Because if baby #3 came even a few minutes faster than baby #2, we weren't going to make it. And what if we had to get there during rush hour traffic? What if there was construction or an accident or anything at all that would delay us for even 5 minutes? We were just too worried that we wouldn't make it in time. 

Luckily, the public hospital in Adelaide that I had both of my first two babies at just began offering home births through their Southern Midwifery Group Practice.  And while we were sad that the midwife who delivered both Trip and Meg didn't do home births, we were super excited to learn that a friend of ours who lived locally did!! How perfect. I trusted her already, and was so excited to have her working with me through my pregnancy! All of our appointments (other than the ultrasound) were conducted at home - great news for someone with two toddlers! She would visit us, listen to the baby's heart beat, have a chat and even have time to play in the cubby house with the kids on occasion. Trip would ask, whenever she came to the door, "Are you here to get the baby out of Mummy's tummy?" and she would reply, "No, I'm not doing that! Your mum is!" an answer I found to be just so perfect. 

And she was a regular at the bakery too! So between visits I'd often run into her and get to ask any teeny questions I had while we both enjoyed a coffee. And if I didn't run into her when I had a question, it was incredibly likely that I would run into another midwife on her team, who was due with her second baby the same time I was! What a fabulous set up. What a wonderful, village style way to approach birth. I was so comfortable the whole time.

Trip and Meg listening to the baby's heartbeat <3

And then, plans changed a little bit. A few weeks before I was due, our midwife hurt her back. Bad enough so that now, almost a year later, she is still recovering. I was a little bummed, but mostly concerned for my friend! I knew she must be in a lot of pain to not even be able to work! But I still saw her at the bakery, and my "back up" midwife simply became my primary midwife, so that was okay. Then the stars really started to line up against us, and our back up midwife was away during my likely due date, so I was then given a "back up, back up" midwife. With all of these changes, and with the baby due any moment, Toff and I had some serious thinking to do. To continue with our planned home birth, knowing that it was likely we would potentially end up with someone delivering our baby whom we had never met before? Or to scrap this plan altogether, and just go up to the hospital? 

Laughing at myself because even maternity shirts were starting to get too small!

In both cases, we weren't going to be able to build a relationship with any of the midwives on the team - there just wasn't any more time! So we created a new plan - if my labour began with contractions only two minutes apart like my second birth, we would stay at home. If, however, my contractions started further apart (anywhere between 3-5 minutes) we would keep a bag packed and ready and head to the hospital! One of my favourite things about the home birth program through Flinders, was that if any of us were uncomfortable with anything at any point in the birth, we could just go to the hospital anyhow. It was a good plan, and one I was comfortable with. If we had to get to hospital, we weren't going to worry about driving - instead we would call the ambulance. The station is just around the corner from our house, and we know all of the drivers as they come into the bakery regularly.

My due date came and went. I was exhausted and getting bigger by the day. I don't have small babies - Trip was just under 9 lbs and Meg was just under 8! And judging by the size of my tummy, this one wasn't going to be  any smaller! I couldn't breathe for a nasty cold I picked up, and my heart burn meant I had to sleep on the couch sitting up (if I could sleep at all.)

Two weeks before my due date we got all dressed up to attend the
Telstra Business Awards that our bakery was a finalist in!

I was over it. So, so very over it. So we made an appointment with a lovely friend who does acupuncture, and he was so confident that we would have the baby after seeing him! "Of course," I joked, "if I don't go into labour before my appointment with you anyhow!"

And, of course, that is exactly how it happened.

Annabelle Charlotte, named first after my maternal grandmother, and also the town I grew up in (Charlottesville), arrived four days after her due date on August 4th, at 5am after only a two and a half hour labour.

For the first first hour of my labour Toff and I were alone in our house, as it took our midwives that long to get down there from where they live (another unfortunate event caused by our midwife situation - our original midwife could have been there within 5 minutes) and as my contractions got stronger and stronger, I warned Toff that he might have to deliver this baby himself. A scenario he wasn't quiiiiiite comfortable with. Luckily our midwives - we had two in attendance, one who we had only met once, and another we had never met at all, but who at least had done a home birth before - both walked through the door not long after.

In a magical turn of events, the big kids were both at Toff's mum's house for the night! Just like when Meg was born and Trip just happened to be at Jen's house for the night. What a magical place our bodies are! So full of wisdom. Our brand new au pair was sleeping in his bedroom next to the living room and says that he didn't hear a thing. (I think he must have been sleeping with headphones on - I wasn't quiet!) and our niece, Alyssa, was out sleeping in her shed-room. A friend who was going to come along with her camera didn't receive the message I sent, so in the end it was just me, Toff, and two midwives. For a birth that could have happened amidst all the crazy chaos of our always-full home, in the end it was quite quiet.

Although my labour was brief, it was intense. With contractions that start so fast and strong there is just no other way to describe it. We already had a birthing kit and an oxygen tank delivered from the hospital, and they were waiting in the corner until they were needed - but because neither midwife had packed the kit themselves they struggled to find things, and the oxygen tank took more brain-power to set up than anyone who has a woman clearly moments away from giving birth just two feet away would have available to them. As soon as I lay down and was finally able to push (one of the midwives told me to wait as they were still getting set up - which caused her to be on the receiving end of one of the meanest glares I could muster) but as soon as I finally lay down to push.... my pushing urge just stopped. The midwives were worried, which made Toff worry. And because I  had already retreated so far into myself, to wherever that magical place is we go to when something of big strength is required of us - I couldn't efficiently communicate to them that I wasn't pushing because I just couldn't! I wasn't worried, as I knew that when my body told me to push again, I would get that baby out! It's what I'm good at - potentially only because I have known my whole life that I would be good at it. But they didn't know that because they didn't know ME. So I gave up trying to explain all of this to them, closed my eyes, and just waited. And sure enough, my body told me to push again, so I did. And ignored the midwives as they said unhelpful things ("only push when you're having a contraction," yes, I know that! Thank you!) but did as I was told when they said helpful things ("crowning! Don't push!") and with one final, massive push that felt like it lasted a minute or more, we had a baby. And it was a girl, and she looked big but oh my was she gorgeous. She was so gorgeous. She took a big, deep breath and cried a little (what a marvellous sound! A human beings' first breath ever! Magic.) And I held her to my chest and I told her it was so nice to finally meet her. It was so nice. She was so gorgeous.

At some point I had to get up from the floor and the foam mats I was lying on, and get onto the couch. Such a strange feeling, to have to do that with absolutely no abdominal strength! Even with Toff's help it was still a strange, long ordeal.

We put our new baby on the scale, and even though we knew she looked big, we were all surprised when the scale read 4.4kgs (9lbs, 11oz)! That last pound was quite unnecessary, I told her.

One midwife sat at our table to finish all of the paperwork while the other cleaned up (not nearly as much mess as you would expect, actually), and Toff made us all a cup of tea. I sat on the couch by the fire and just snuggled and snuggled and snuggled our new little darling. Potentially the best part of having a home birth - resting in your own house and taking a shower in your own bathroom and not having to worry about putting a brand new baby into a car seat that inevitably looks too big and not nearly as comfy as Mom or Dad's arms.

Toff rang his mum so she could bring Trip and Meg over to meet their new sister. They were both absolutely amazed and Trip asked to hold her right away. Alyssa came in from the shed and was surprised to see that we were holding a baby!

Then everyone left. The house was quiet. Toff and I crawled into bed with our brand new baby and tried to sleep. Our next big adventure was just beginning.

And there were three!
Aged very-nearly-4, 2-and-a-half, and 1 week, respectively. 

Epilogue:

Having a baby at home was a big decision. And, just like everything else baby-related, everyone has an opinion! Some people thought it was a terrible idea, and implored my parents to not let me have a home birth, some people thought it was a wonderful idea and wished they could have had done the same. It was a choice we made out of this particular situation, and looking back now - even with everything that went awry - I feel confident that we made the right choice. In different circumstances, with more time or a less than 40 minute commute, I might have chosen to go back to the birthing centre at Flinders, which gives you the comfort of being in a room that feels more like a suite and less like a surgery room, but with the emergency services just around the corner if needed. I am glad, though, that we were at home for this birth, as I feel that the midwives - who didn't know me at all - would have potentially called in "back up" because they were uncomfortable, when I knew that they weren't needed - but would have been unable to fight for what I wanted because I was so far "in the zone." In the end, we got a healthy baby, and that is all that matters. That's all that matters.