Love Wins vs Love Hurts
I had already planned on writing about LOVE WINS today. So it seems fitting that something would happen to remind us how love hurts, too. Life with a toddler never goes quite as you would expect it too.
Trip and Meg have been showing so much love lately, it's all I can think about.
It took us ten months, but Trip is finally not only tolerating his little baby sister's presence, but also (thankfully, finally!) coming to search it out as well. When Meg was first born, Trip always wanted a cuddle from me when she was eating, and would occasionally give her a little swat to the head when he didn't approve of her presence. The hitting stopped months ago, but he still hasn't been terribly interested in keeping her company, or looking after her for me at night time in the room they are supposed to share, and try as I might he never wanted to share things with her or try to do things for her that would make her happy. In short, none of the things I so hoped for when we planned to have two little ones so close in age! I knew that it would take time, and hoped that we would get there one day.
And you know what? I think we're getting there! Just this week Trip has begun to share his food with Meggie - even voluntarily helping me feed her dinner the other night! And when I told him that the chicken might be too hot for her, he took it back from her high chair, blew on it, touched it to his lips like he's seen me do, and gave it right back to her! And for three nights in a row now they have both slept in the same room without screaming so much that they wake the other one up! (This one wasn't entirely on Trip, Meggie had to adjust to having him there, too!)
And, oh!, how my heart just absolutely SINGS when I watch them share toys and follow each other around and look concerned when the other one is hurt! When Trip won't go to bed without giving Meggie a kiss first, or when he brings a toy over to her, or says "carrefuwl meggie," my heart simply chants "love wins love wins love WINS!!!"
And then, today at our weekly play date at the library, Trip showed me how much love HURTS, too.
After singing some songs and reading some books and doing our best not to run around the library like a rampant beaver, we always walk across the road to have a coffee at The Green Room. TGR is a beautiful cafe that serves local, organic food, makes excellent coffee, and - best of all for our purposes - is super kid friendly. They have a fenced in outdoor eating area, a sandbox, lots of sticks from the gorgeous, giant gum tree to drag around, and even a (new addition!) separate room indoors with chalk boards and blocks and books and a change table. Hello toddler, baby, and mommy heaven!
We've been going every Thursday for a year and a half now with mostly the same group of super cool Mums and their super beautiful toddlers (and second round babies are cropping up by the handful, too!), and Trip is just starting to remember everyone's names and which of his friends are likely to want to hug him and which ones are likely to share their sandwiches with him if he asks nicely. (He's a cheeky little thing!) My heart melts with love for Trip on adaily hourly basis, but even more so when I watch him pucker up and come at another of his toddler-friends with a delicate and very precisely planted kiss.
So today, Trip exchanged several kisses with his friend Mary. Which is great. And beautiful to see the love between them when everyone is happy and not hitting each other instead of kissing and both toddlers have their feet planted firmly on the ground.... Which was exactly what DIDN'T happen today as Mary and Trip leaned in for one, very careful, cuddle and kiss AS they were standing on top of a 2-foot tall stump next to the sandbox. Mary's mom, Tori, saw the wind up - the leaning in of the toddlers with arms held out like curved hula-hoops towards each other, lips puckered, and heels dangerously close to the edges. But she didn't make it in time. Mid-pucker, the toddlers went tumbling head-first off the stump and onto a scattering of other tree-trunks and logs. Both were dispatched immediately to Mom's lap for a solid cuddle. Trip was left with what is probably the largest bump on his head that I think he's ever had, and I think poor little Mary will probably have a nice bump too!
And as this was all unfolding, all I could think was - LOVE HURTS. I imagine the girl in my head - who luckily uses a pencil - rapidly and feverishly erasing the LOVE WINS slogan, and scratching LOVE HURTS in its place.
Being a mom has helped me totally and completely redefine what I think of as love. And whether it wins or it hurts, I hope to store these memories so I can keep pulling them out over the years as these beautiful children continue to teach me more and more.
Trip and Meg have been showing so much love lately, it's all I can think about.
It took us ten months, but Trip is finally not only tolerating his little baby sister's presence, but also (thankfully, finally!) coming to search it out as well. When Meg was first born, Trip always wanted a cuddle from me when she was eating, and would occasionally give her a little swat to the head when he didn't approve of her presence. The hitting stopped months ago, but he still hasn't been terribly interested in keeping her company, or looking after her for me at night time in the room they are supposed to share, and try as I might he never wanted to share things with her or try to do things for her that would make her happy. In short, none of the things I so hoped for when we planned to have two little ones so close in age! I knew that it would take time, and hoped that we would get there one day.
And you know what? I think we're getting there! Just this week Trip has begun to share his food with Meggie - even voluntarily helping me feed her dinner the other night! And when I told him that the chicken might be too hot for her, he took it back from her high chair, blew on it, touched it to his lips like he's seen me do, and gave it right back to her! And for three nights in a row now they have both slept in the same room without screaming so much that they wake the other one up! (This one wasn't entirely on Trip, Meggie had to adjust to having him there, too!)
And, oh!, how my heart just absolutely SINGS when I watch them share toys and follow each other around and look concerned when the other one is hurt! When Trip won't go to bed without giving Meggie a kiss first, or when he brings a toy over to her, or says "carrefuwl meggie," my heart simply chants "love wins love wins love WINS!!!"
And then, today at our weekly play date at the library, Trip showed me how much love HURTS, too.
After singing some songs and reading some books and doing our best not to run around the library like a rampant beaver, we always walk across the road to have a coffee at The Green Room. TGR is a beautiful cafe that serves local, organic food, makes excellent coffee, and - best of all for our purposes - is super kid friendly. They have a fenced in outdoor eating area, a sandbox, lots of sticks from the gorgeous, giant gum tree to drag around, and even a (new addition!) separate room indoors with chalk boards and blocks and books and a change table. Hello toddler, baby, and mommy heaven!
We've been going every Thursday for a year and a half now with mostly the same group of super cool Mums and their super beautiful toddlers (and second round babies are cropping up by the handful, too!), and Trip is just starting to remember everyone's names and which of his friends are likely to want to hug him and which ones are likely to share their sandwiches with him if he asks nicely. (He's a cheeky little thing!) My heart melts with love for Trip on a
So today, Trip exchanged several kisses with his friend Mary. Which is great. And beautiful to see the love between them when everyone is happy and not hitting each other instead of kissing and both toddlers have their feet planted firmly on the ground.... Which was exactly what DIDN'T happen today as Mary and Trip leaned in for one, very careful, cuddle and kiss AS they were standing on top of a 2-foot tall stump next to the sandbox. Mary's mom, Tori, saw the wind up - the leaning in of the toddlers with arms held out like curved hula-hoops towards each other, lips puckered, and heels dangerously close to the edges. But she didn't make it in time. Mid-pucker, the toddlers went tumbling head-first off the stump and onto a scattering of other tree-trunks and logs. Both were dispatched immediately to Mom's lap for a solid cuddle. Trip was left with what is probably the largest bump on his head that I think he's ever had, and I think poor little Mary will probably have a nice bump too!
And as this was all unfolding, all I could think was - LOVE HURTS. I imagine the girl in my head - who luckily uses a pencil - rapidly and feverishly erasing the LOVE WINS slogan, and scratching LOVE HURTS in its place.
Being a mom has helped me totally and completely redefine what I think of as love. And whether it wins or it hurts, I hope to store these memories so I can keep pulling them out over the years as these beautiful children continue to teach me more and more.
<3 it Cara x
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